This is my last weekend as a resident in Singapore. And it has been a fascinating discovery because (unlike a tourist) when you are an insider – you get to see and experience a unique culture made up of quirks, warts, funnies and all. So, here is a list of what I felt was Uniquely Singapore … IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER OF PRIORITY, YOU KNOW IT’S SINGAPORE WHEN …
1. All you need to do to become a local is end sentences with a drawl and a ‘Lah’.
2. Cyclists practice their sport in the middle of the night to avoid getting run over.
3. The government offers a step-up monetary incentive to reverse a declining local population.
4. Your luggage arrives on the conveyor belt before you can clear immigration.
5. A departmental store called Mustafa becomes a national landmark.
6. Cab drivers postulate expertly on the state of the economy.
7. The pursuit of money is a national passion.
8. Celebrations are fabricated as an excuse for more shopping.
9. There are queues of impatient women outside the Louis Vuitton shop.
10. Firecrackers and chewing gum are seen as national hazards.
11. An empty Speaker’s Corner is seen as an evidence of a thriving and happy democracy.
12. Everyone (including the concierge) wants to know the state of your business.
13. Discount-mongers are preferred to gossip-mongers.
14. The streets are cleaned by vacuum cleaners.
15. Government housing is allocated on the basis of fixed ratios to encourage racial harmony.
16. One terrorist escapes the jail and a whole country gets pulverized.
17. A well equipped Air Force feels fulfilled doing aerial acrobatics in the national day parade.
18. The national library promotes the cause of literature by stocking up on the latest comics.
19. Toll tax or ERP is sarcastically referred to as ‘Every Road Pays’.
20. The met department has a different weather forecast for every one of the five zones of this 700 sq.km. City State.
21. The clock is set an hour ahead of the scientifically predicted standard time zone to be aligned to China time.
22. Seats in busy food courts are reserved (local lingo: ‘choped’) with a packet of Watsons tissue paper.
23. Four out of ten citizens marry a foreigner – contributing further to a rojak (mixed-up) society.
24. Every major community has a free-to-air channel exclusively dedicated to their own content.
25. Its Prime Minister gets five times (!) the pay of the United States President to prevent him from becoming corrupt.
Just in case you have noticed something I have not, please do add to the list and contribute to this noble (and non-profit) movement to decode the Singaporean culture.
Regardless of the heft you bring with you in terms of looks or personality or sex appeal the ugliest white man can score a Singaporean girl without moving a finger ..... because he is white.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous Indian girls who choose to be seen with an Indian man are viewed with disbelief and bewilderment.
Hi Subbu,
ReplyDeleteHave been following your past few posts.. this one is brilliant.
I was in Singapore last week for a couple of days.. your observations brought a smile to my face.
One thing i noticed was that shopping is a serious sport there.. when we were on orchard road it started raining, then we noticed the underpasses that connect all the malls. Not even nature can stop people from shopping in Singapore
aerial acrobatics = aerobatics... coinage of phrases my planner friend!!!
ReplyDeleteWell... one more observation - You know you are in Singapore when you are not normally in art auctions, but are in COE (Certificate of Entitlement) queue... You need to drive around this 700 sq km city-state lah... lol
ReplyDeleteUtopia, I tell you! Surely there's a 'flip side' list somewhere!!
ReplyDeleteGreat job... I really feel involved. I am quite new in Singapore but your list represent very well the reality of Singapore's culture
ReplyDeletePassion Makes the difference